It seems like we keep having the same old fights…

This is the most common thing I hear when a couple comes to me for therapy! In a couple relationship, the experiences of our past are always at play, often coming up over and over until we feel lost in a cycle. Little things turn into big things on a regular basis. I work with couples to help identify their cycles and patterned behavior, restore hope and connection, and build intimacy through experiential work together.

So how do we do that? Our second and third sessions, after the intake session, are spent drawing your family trees to help me understand what you learned about relationships in your families growing up. I believe this knowledge is central to changing things for stuck couples. Then, we build out our toolbox of practical communication skills, techniques to avoid conflict or escalation, and strategies for resolution. To do this, I use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and structural therapy (setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and goal setting), emotion focused therapy (EFT) (identifying and empathizing with feelings), and attachment based therapy (practicing trust and vulnerability to heal hurts from the past).